MY WRITING JOURNEY

The “Me” in Writing.

Dear readers, The topic I am addressing today is a bit broad, so I am going to divide this article into six parts:

*How I discovered my talent in writing.

          The story behind it.

          The shocking discovery.

*Writing to heal.

          Writing to me: A feeling beyond the surface.

          The “whom” question 

          Writing to heal me.

          Writing to heal you.

*Writing to work.

           Ideas I have unlocked so far in my course of writing to work..

           The hurdles and the puzzles.

*The excitement and fun of writing in general.

*What I thought writing was and now what I think writing is.

*My journey so far (Conclusion).

So yes, let's go.

How I discovered my talent in writing.

The story behind it.

Right from when I was little, I’d just pick up a random book, newspaper, just all sorts of books, and read. Then I’d sit down and think. Did a human being actually write this? Can someone be this intelligent to pen something like this down so beautifully? Who are they, and what are they called? Are they in this same biosphere as me? 

I told myself I was going to unravel the mysteries and find answers to my questions. That fueled my determination to read more. I’d pick up a newspaper and try to unravel how it was written. I’d pick up a novel and, seeing the big grammar in it, I'd put a Dictionary beside me and try to see if I could spot any mistakes in the writing that I couldn't believe was a human’s. 

I’d pick up lots and lots of different books, encyclopedias, etc, even when I don't understand what I am reading, and try to imagine who the writer really is. I wanted to know who the creatures were because I just didn't want to believe they were humans. I was determined to find them out.

Then one day, I picked up my pen and tried to imitate those writers too. I tried writing and seeing if I could pen down something beautiful too. I picked the first sheet, wrote down a few words I could think of and imagined, read it, and said, “This is trash.” I crumbled it and threw it away. 

I picked up another sheet, wrote a few words down again, read it, crumbled it, and threw it away again. Picked another sheet, wrote a few words down again, crumbled and threw it away again. These circles continued for some time till I became frustrated and said, “Nah, they definitely aren't human beings.”

 I smiled and walked away, thinking, yes, I have finally gotten my answer!! Human beings can't be this smart. If they were human beings, I am definitely smart, so I should have been able to pen something down beautifully too. So they aren't human beings. I was fulfilled. That was all the answer I needed.

Days rolled by, and I actually didn't stop reading any book I came across, nor did I stop writing jargon and throwing it away. It actually intensified. You know, there is this kind of fulfillment that comes with knowing someone's mastery secret that they don't want you to know, and all you just want is to show them that “You think you are smart? Nah! You definitely aren't,” so that was what I was actually trying to do. I continued reading extensively, and will smirk each time I read a book, not knowing I was actually moulding myself and preparing myself for a shocking discovery. 

The shocking discovery.

I discovered that they were actually humans like me, living in the same biosphere as me!

The day I stopped trying to prove a point was the day I made my discovery. I was kind of feeling bored, so I took my pen to just pen down jargon as usual, though the only difference this time was that I wasn't writing to prove a point, I was writing to kill boredom. 

I took a new note and started writing, concentrating fully on my imaginations, and in between, using live examples to spice up my writing. I just kept on writing and writing for long hours, till I realized I couldn't turn the pages again.

 I had actually gotten to the end of the page; the last leaf! Unbelievable, right? You actually don't have to believe me, cos I actually didn't believe myself either when I was done. I thought I had turned into an alien!

Still not believing myself, I dropped my pen and opened to the beginning of the page and started reading, and should I say it was a Whoa! I was afloat with excitement. So, the writers were actually human, and I just proved it!

It was a fantastic discovery, and I realized how foolish I had been. The secret to the writers’ fantastic works was not because they were trying to prove a point, but because they were writing as fun! 

And just like I did, writing for fun, I discovered that the writers aren't actually a special being; they are just like me. And my first ever novel, TRAUMA, was written for fun! It was a super discovery at 13.

Right then, I said I am going to become a writer too, just for the fun of it, but along the way, fun still intact, I realized I wanted to write to heal, and maybe write to work too.

Writing to Heal.

Writing to Me: A feeling beyond the surface.

What does it really mean to write? To some, it's just a hobby, while to some, it doesn't go beyond taking your pen and pouring out what's in the brain. That's just how they feel about writing, but to me, is that really how I feel about writing? Nope, I don't think so. 

Writing to me is a feeling that goes beyond just writing, a feeling that goes beyond just a hobby. I call writing healing, and that's what it has been to me. I just don't write because I am blessed in the field; I find myself writing most times to heal.

Countless times, I find myself asking myself what I wish to achieve with writing. Is it just to make money? Is it to gain an audience and followers? Is it to be known widely and recognized? 

Or is it just to write and write, with no directions? With no emotions attached, just plain words that don't even move a soul? The question kept lingering around till one day, the answer finally clicked! I am not just writing because it is fun or for the fun of it. I am writing to heal.

The “whom” question

And someone once asked me, To heal whom exactly? 

Why? To heal myself, and you, of course!

 Writing to heal me.

 When I need to write so badly (For myself, and that occurs mostly when I am emotionally down or on the verge of breaking down), I connect writing with my innermost soul, thereby bringing out the healing I needed to get for myself. I realized that not all the time would there be a human to tell my worries to. 

Not all the time would I get the soothing I needed from a human. Not all the time would I be able to cry out to a human the way I want to, or make them understand me the way I want, and not all the time would I even be able to pour out everything happening to me to a human, the way I want. 

For years, I kept looking for the solution on how to save myself from being so emotionally wrecked when I needed someone/ something physical to talk to, then one day at night, in the quietest corner of my room, with the cool breeze blowing from the West, I took my pen, with my soul hurting, my hands trembling and eyes pouring and started writing. Just writing and writing. 

I started pouring out all that’s hurting me, on papers, telling the paper to be my companion, begging it to understand me. I just kept on writing and writing with no directions. Penning down things I can never find myself to confide in a human, and just like magic, a full page was gone, two pages, three pages, and that was it. I became calm, and that was all I needed: The inner peace, the calmness, and the tranquility.

Just like that, I discovered, within some minutes, the solution to what I had spent years looking for. I discovered that writing is part of my solution to emotional wreckage. My self-healing lies in writing. So yes, since then, I write to heal myself. To bring me the inner peace I needed. To keep myself happy. 

That's why you would hardly see me being sad, cos rather than give sadness a free space out of my time, I would rather give the space to my pen, and after writing, I would have surely become so healed to even know the word “Sadness” exists.

Writing to heal you.

In the course of writing to heal myself, I realized that not only do I deserve to be happy, you deserve that too! I realized that I am only being selfish if I decide to allow you to continue to wallow in that sadness when I can surely be of help, even if it's just a little.

 So, I decided to write for others too, and those others are no one else but YOU. Just like I do in using writing my heal myself, I try to connect with YOUR soul too, to know what exactly you want and what exactly you need.

Before I write for others, I try to ask myself, “What exactly does she really need at the moment? What exact words does he really need to hear right now? What exact words can soothe his/ her soul right now? 

And just like that, having gotten the answers, my pen sets to work, and the words flow in, and bang, I have just the right solution to heal your mood! So yes, I just don't write alone, I write to clear your mood, connecting your soul with my pen.

Mind you, going religious a bit, complete healing doesn't lie with me, nor does it lie in my pen. God might just use my writing as a cause or reason for your healing. So don't get me wrong, or think I am calling myself a healer. No! I am not and can never be.

Writing to Work.

When I realized that I could actually turn my talent into a skill, I decided to give it a try. I realized that I don't really have to put my emotions into writing only; I can also try to be formal in my writing.

 I realized that I don't really have to always act like a woman when writing (In terms of emotions), I can also try to act as a man, by working beyond my emotions. 

So, I started out on my journey to writing to work. Like I said earlier, fun is still intact, so I'd always say writing doesn't have to be boring, whether as work or not.

Ideas I have unlocked so far in my course of writing for work.

From my research so far, I discovered that what people or organizations you write for actually want is how professional you can be while still keeping their readers’ attention on the edge. They actually don't want you to be too professional, thereby making the readers bored, nor do they want you to be too unprofessional, thereby making the readers think they actually aren't someone serious to deal with.

 They need someone balanced, maybe let me say someone who can be humorously professional. How can someone achieve that? I think I was able to unlock some ideas in my course of writing to work. Let's try to check it out. I actually tried to be humorously professional by:

*knowing what writing is all about: It's not just about me sitting for long critical hours writing, I'd always try to connect my innermost soul with my pen. Ideas come easily when one thinks with the soul.

*knowing what I am really writing on: If I don't really understand the topic I was given to write on, I'd spend hours researching it till I become the topic myself. I’d have researched to the extent that when I finally start writing, I wouldn't need to go online again as the ideas would keep flowing in naturally with all that I have researched. So, don't just write without directions. Write with knowledge.

*seeing writing not as a task, but as fun: When the topics become too complex or along the way, I become hooked, I’d just break the topic down into bits or I'd just take some contexts from the topic and try to imagine a funny scenario with it or I’d just take another book and start writing a kind of jargons, then come back to the main work again.

If that seems impossible, it's me and my brain playing a game of tricks. I’d just say, “You don't wanna open right, I am gonna get you to open,” then start whistling or playing with my pen till I kind of get some ideas again. You don't really have to sit crammed up for hours because you want to complete a task. Have fun in between, and you will be shocked by the result at the end.

I don't really know whether I am making a bit of sense, but these are ideas I had actually unlocked in my course of writing to work, and that have actually worked for me.

The hurdles and the puzzles.

The hurdles.

There are lots of hurdles I encounter as a writer, but the most frustrating of the hurdles is writer's block. When writing, there would come a time when I'd just turn completely blank, not knowing what to write again. I call this punishment from the brain because the brain would refuse to process anything again, and not even the tiniest of inspiration would come.

 You can't just try to force it. But just like you know, I always think of the good side of things. The writer's block might just be a way of telling me to pause and relax, to think and refresh, to reboost and balance. Taking breaks in between writing actually helps a lot.

The puzzles.

There are lots of puzzles that come my way when writing, which I have to fix, or I might end up writing just for myself. Some of these puzzles are:

*Constructing and bringing out ideas that resonate with my readers' wants.

*Fixing the words together to make sense to my readers.

*Balancing my emotions with my work.

*Remaining on the path I am writing, yet trying to ease the tension and bring in a little humour.

These are just a little out of the puzzles I needed to fix before I can say, yes! My work is perfect!

The excitement and fun of writing in general..

Writing is so much fun for me, whether it is for fun or for work. The most exciting and fun part of it is that when I finish writing and I read what I have written down, there comes this particular feeling that is unexplainable. The feeling that comes with the question, “Did I actually write this?” Fulfillment. 

Writing makes me feel fulfilled, so much that I need no one to praise me for my work. What is staring right back at me from the paper has spoken about the praise itself. That's just what writing does to me. It keeps me fulfilled and happy. That's why I actually write mostly when I am feeling down.

What I thought writing was and now, what I think writing is.

In the past, I thought writing was a task writers do because they are obliged to do it. I thought writing was something that had to be done because someone needed to read a book. I thought writing was just a job done to earn money. 

I thought writing was all about composing thousands of jargon and compiling them together, just so readers get something to keep them busy. I thought writing was done so that readers who are seen reading it can be termed a “scholar.” I thought writing was lots and lots.

But the answer came five years ago, the day I wrote my own novel too. I realized that writing isn't a task, but a passion that is taken as a hobby. I realized that writing has to be done not because someone needs to read a book but because someone wants to feel connected. I realized that writing is not just a job but a healing, for the writer and the reader.

 I realized that writing is not just about composing jargons, but it is about composing melody, suitable for the reader's ear and delight. I realized that people don't just read because the books are big, but because they want to gain something, because they are hoping to gain something. I realize that:

*People consult dictionaries because they want to know the meaning of something.

*People read encyclopedias because they want to gain broad and reliable knowledge on a wide range of subjects.

*People read novels because they wish to dream, to imagine, to fantasize, to have some personal growth, maybe on their emotional sides, etc.

So I realized that writers just don't write to write, they write to help, to heal, and to give hope, and that's exactly what my aim was when I decided to start writing, too.

Conclusion.

My journey so far.

I can say the journey hasn't been easy. I am still on the journey, and I am not prepared to stop soon except The unstoppable stops me. I just hope my Lord prolongs my life upon goodness, and Purifies my intentions for writing and Makes me achieve my main aim: To change the world with my pen, in the Halaal way.

It's been a long read, dear readers. Thanks for your patience in reading it through. Munee's Pen to your Aid. Unbeatable love for you, dear treasured reader!

Ciao.